I just cut my nipple shaving
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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