we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Farmville is her only friend.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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