ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
