Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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