My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
