That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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