May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
