Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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