Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
