Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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