According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
