I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She even gives head with a lisp.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
