at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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