I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I didn't notice because vodka
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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