he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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