Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Randomize
