New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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