She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
