belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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