u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
