sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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