There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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