In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
