New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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