...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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