if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
