No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize