Hey man sorry I got all grabby
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize