Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
