if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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