Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
