Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
