paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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