I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
