she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm like, not good at living.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
