There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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