Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
