So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize