We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
