and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
