His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize