can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
we're so committed to being not committed
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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