Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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