are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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