Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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