why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
