Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
