kristin has been a bad kristin
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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