based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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