Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
