I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you inspire me to be a worse person
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
