Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
