we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
