just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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