So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
