I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
me + whiskey = a bad person
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize