do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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