Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
