you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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